Posted in film, tagged academy awards, academy jury, best actor, best actress, best movie, danny boyle, don cheadle, lifetime achievement, maneka gandhi, oscar, oscar awards, Oscars 2009, Oscars 2010, slumdog millionaire, susan sarandon on February 23, 2009|
Best Picture
Slum Whale Douchebag
Slum Whale Douchebag is a touching third person narrative of how two annoying NRI kids (Dev Patel and Frieda Pinto) convince a douchebag coast guard to stop irritating the local whale by pissing in the ocean. Along the way, they discover love, friendship and vegetarianism.
Best Actor
Don Cheadle
Don Cheadle was awarded the golden statuette (Best Actor award) for his role as a homosexual liberal Jew rapper who goes through life just like anyone else. Somewhere down the line, he thinks about doing something different but then sticks to the beaten path and once again, does what everyone else at his age and social status is expected to. Critics have praised it as the best performance by a non-homosexual liberal Jew rapper as a homosexual liberal Jew rapper.
Best Actress
Maneka Gandhi / Susan Sarandon
Maneka Gandhi was awarded the Best Actress award after the Academy wrongly perceived her to be the granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi. Once they realized that she was a slimy pseudo-hippie and not someone who can teach them how to fight violence with inner peace, the Oscar award was snatched away from her and given to Susan Sarandon. Of course, since Mrs Sarandon has not acted in any films this year, the statuette is now on sale at e-Bay. And rumour has it that some Page 3 socialte in Mumbai bought it for her pet slumdog.
Lifetime Achievement Award
The Academy
This year’s lifetime achievement award was given to the honourable jury at the Academy for being able to get off their beds in the morning without falling off their asses, having taken into account the copious amounts of crack they smoke every morning before deciding to embarrass the aesthetics of art by nominating devastatingly mediocre films such as Braveheart, Titanic and Slumdog Millionaire.
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