Archive for the ‘news’ Category

Even homophobia has no business clouding one’s mind when it comes to decriminalization of homosexuality. It doesn’t even qualify itself for a debate. It should have been the norm considering that Hindus, Jews, the Japanese, Albinos, Dyslexic people, frock-wearing chihuahuas, plump activists, Zhongwei Goats, French mimes, grumpy painters, short human resources managers, tapeworms, jazz musicians, and irritating kids have been walking around freely without being viciously judged for who they are.

A lot of people have written about this with much more conviction and passion, so you should go read their stuff. As for the rest who are sort of glad about the decriminalization, but wouldn’t really think about it in two weeks’ time unless some a bunch of idiots have something hilariously offensive to say, read on.

Soup DragonsI was thinking about what would have made for a good background score when this news broke. After a brief introspection I have decided that it would have to be I’m Free by Scottish alternative rockers The Soup Dragons. I first heard of these guys during high school when a distant uncle of mine, a Catholic priest who had more in common with Bud Spencers than any other person I have met, gifted me a random “Say What U Want: Artists for Rock the Vote” CD. Apart from featuring stunningly good, edgy pop music by The Wonder Stuff, Michelle Shocked, Phranc and Tears For Fears, the CD also introduced me to a fantastic cover of a Rolling Stones’ song (I’m Free) by The Soup Dragons. Sean Dickson’s vocals are eager more than anything else and it works wonderfully well what with the rest of the band bringing down the house with a heck of a rhythm section.

As he croons, “Cause I’m free, to do what I want, to be what I want, any old time,” you really start questioning your sanity for having believed that happiness can be sort of boring.

In hindsight I can safely say that I’m Free reaffirmed my faith in joyous music. Despite being committed to the notion that cynicism and overwhelming pain spur music to greater heights than any other permutation of emotions, I think happiness lately has been given an unfair run in music. A couple of decades ago, a thumping beat followed by soulful vocals, handclaps and gentle synthesizers would have amounted to a great soul track sung by the likes of Aretha Franklin, Brian Wilson, Ray Charles, Sly Stone or Smokey Robinson. In today’s recurring playlist, you would sooner hear these classic sounds on a Goa trance album than on anything worth giving a second listen to.

And now…ahemmmm…now for the most loathsome part of casual writing, the summary of an hour’s worth of thinking.

Lessons Learned

I’m glad that the judgment on Section 377 has been given a warm welcome

I’m Free by The Soup Dragons might make you want to dance

You should buy the Say What U Want: Artists for Rock the Vote CD (or stay sadly ignorant of The Disposable Heroes of Hypocrisy)

I didn’t have time to talk about the joyously fantastic My Nutmeg Fantasy (Mos Def & Angie Stone remix) by Macy Gray, but do listen to it

And don’t fucking judge people who don’t bother you

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News: Alice In Chains sign new deal with Iron Maiden’s label

My Reaction:


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corporate-cat1Now that Uncle Sam has given a middle-finger salute to outsourcing, I wonder what socialist teat we would be suckling on for the sake of make-believe financial equality. Perhaps this is an indication that local industries should be the focal point of the country’s economic decisions. Maybe now it is clear that investing in a future that is likely to be a product of globalization is the stupidest thing to do since Steve Irwin jabbed his left finger into the Stingray’s eyes and said, “ahh mate, that’s not a barb…this IS A BARB”.

Hell, this could be a call for Indianization of information and technology. Or it could be something that I won’t think about again until it, you know, actually affects me.

(stands in queue, flicks cigarette and idiotically walks towards the sunset while Orruvan Orruvan Mudhalalee plays in the background)

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Hi. I’m Christy’s lack of insensitivity. Two 5-year-old girls were raped over the past three days. One in Chennai. The other in New Delhi. Don’t bother looking too much into it. The India media barely gives a shit enough to stir a slight stench. I don’t see Renukha Choudhry rushing to the scene of the crime. I haven’t noticed any virtual social networking enthusiasts raising a hue and cry about this.

It’s so friggin quiet that I think I almost heard a tree fall on a social worker’s head in an empty forest.

But I guess I understand. It’s not as horrific as middle-class teenagers getting pushed around near city pubs. And well, stray dogs weren’t mercilessly killed. After all folks…it’s just a bunch of toddlers getting sexually violated. Pah. Forget it. Go back to channeling rage and creativity for far more grievous issues. I’m sure there’s a Gucci handbag somewhere in Rwanda that needs to be saved.

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mon1I have a niggling problem with comments. The way people twist them around with no intention of adding further to the conversation, but rather than to make it all about themselves and what they believe in.

And sometimes, ever so rarely, proof of evidence props up in my favour.

Comments on news reports on Express Buzz

Saravana Bhavan owner sentenced to life

Paul Krist thinks, “WHAT ABOUT THE THREE YOUNG ENGINEERS WHO WERE BURNED TO DEATH AT MARAN’S NEWSPAPER OFFICE IN MADURAI ? DID THE FIRE HAPPEN DUE TO SOME “EVIL SPIRITS” INVOKED BY THEIR ENEMIES ?? !! Some people burned them alive. If they are not the suspected politicians, who else did it?”

Lanka to make Kachchativu a sacred area

SONIA THE MUSOLINI believes, “Means that Srilanka going to PLANT BUUDHA statue and bring SKIN HEAD TERRRORISTS EVILS called MONKS in Sinhala to Kachathivu to destroy the CATHOLIC CHURCH as they have been doing to destroy all Hindu, Catholic and Muslim worship places in Eeema. Example: Trinco,Batticola, Amparai, Jaffna, Vavuniya, Pulmoddai, Moothoor, etc WITH THE HELP OF ITALIAN MUSOLINI SONIA THE EVIL WOMAN who will see the TOTLA DESTRUCTION OF HER CHILDREN RAGUL AND PRIYANKA’s FUTURE soon

Varun replies to poll panel notice, gets anticipatory bail

V.Mehta blithers on… “Similarly why no muslim or minroity apepasing ministers like Arjun Singh,Mulayam and Loo,etc are not in jail already for splitting the people on caste or community lines? Courts &RSS,VHP&BJP too better wake up. Now BJP must go for aggressive hinduvta and majority hindus must vote in large numbers for BJP and allies to save the hindus in India and Lanka and to eliminate the anti-hindu forces all around them.”

Please. Stop.

It is refreshing to see so many updates about the war in Sri Lanka; in fact, I don’t think any other newspaper has given it this much web coverage. Hell, it’s probably the only Indian-based news website , in which user-interface gets the respect it deserves. But to even entertain comments such as these…well, either you guys are still apathetic towards the wrecking ball machine that is Express’ brand image or well, this somehow increases your web traffic…nevertheless,

Please. Fucking. Stop.

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polarbears1I’m all up for fighting against Ram Sena, Shiv Sena, Keith Sena, John Cena and everyone else responsible for making Indian society a more retarded place than it already is. Like I have said many times, the entire lot should be fed SARS-infected dog shit three times a day. But since our legal system is not mature enough to facilitate forceful consumption of diseased feces, the next best thing would have been to align our anger, frustration and insolence together and send a message that truly speaks against the callousness of civil governance and the terrifying consequences of giving political weightage to caste-inspired groupism.

So, the young minds online decide to come together and use every ounce of creative and intellectual acumen they can collective muster up to send pink underwear to Sena offices in India. While it ranks a notch above the insanely futile candlelight vigils that we are notorious for, it doesn’t change the fact that this is by far the dumbest call to action since some moron told John McCain, “Sarah Palin is your ticket to the Whitehouse”. So once again, youngsters manage to unite together (mostly online since Sena-ites can’t throw heavy objects at them through Facebook) as one voice and make absolute idiots of themselves.

Even more pathetic is that fact that most of the women campaigning for this nonsense are middle/upper-middle class and within the 20-35 age group. Pretty much the same as those victimized (and I agree, they were) in Mangalore. I guess people give a shit only if tragedies showcase possibilties of them facing one too. Too bad not many nuns have an account on Facebook; perhaps at least they could have campaigned against Kandhamal incident (apparently no one with an existing account cared enough) .

While I sort of have a soft corner for these kids looking to fight for their rights as individuals…No, wait. I don’t have a soft corner for them. I loathe them for not realizing the frivolity of their actions and more so because once this so-called pro-culture movement is dead and gone, they would probably completely give up on questioning civil slanders ever again and resort to excuses such as “Oh well, at least we tried, but this world, I tell you…THIS WORLD”.

No, you didn’t try. You sent pink underwear to other people. That’s not trying; that’s just constructing a mirage of pretending to try so that you can high-five your office colleague / roommate and stifle a tear or two about how much it hurts to know that Indians are victimized by pseudo-religious anger and politicized corruption – two threads on which our great country has been doing a fucking headstand for the past century, balancing seven hundred tones of hatred and self-pity on each one of it’s pinky toes.

The largest carnivore in Karnataka told me this morning that over 5,000 pink chaddis have been collected so far and then grievously muttered something about how “guns don’t kill yuppies, papa bear kills yuppies”. Hmmm…5,000 votes in favour of an independent political party during the elections would have been nice too, don’t you think? Or how about 5,000 written letters to various media organizations in and outside of India to let them know that referring to certain people as ‘slumdogs’ in India would only falsely indicate a drastic upward surge in their social hierarchies?

An assault against India’s evolving culture and the safety of it’s women demands more than petty mindgames and designer panties. If you think otherwise, throw your goddam pink shoelaces at those guys who raped that nun in Orissa. Bring a feather-duster as backup too.

That will teach them a lesson.


Thought of the day (from papabears.wordpress.com)

“It’s a prettier sight watching middle-aged women flinging their undies at Kenny Rogers than this”

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Central government’s decision to “look into archaic portrayal of girls, women on TV” while out here in the real world (Villipuram, to be specific), an eight-year-old girl is forced to marry a fucking frog

The Indian cricketers whining like Oliver Twist on crack and Xanax about how Greg Chappell used to “shout” at them; considering the fact he was hired to toughen them out on the field

The fact that white people seem to think that Bill Clinton is more African American than Barack Obama


Thank you, Cinematic Orchestra…keep making fantastic music.

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Day 1

CNN IBN blows a giant wad of appreciation for Slumdog Millionaire and hails the film as the greatest thing since sliced Lagaan (which, to further the irony of it all, was a horrible, horrible film)

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids

Day 6

CNN IBN accuses Slumdog Millionaire of being “poverty pornography” and invites activists and socialites to participate in an “Oh-No-Rich-Famous-White-People-Think-We-Are-Poor” discourse.

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids

Day 7

Tom Cruise’s ten second soundbyte in Korea gets one-hour slot on CNN IBN’s late night show. “Hare yaar… hope Cruise bhaiya knows that not all Indians are like not like totally poor…oh my god, that would be like so gross,” says random reporter to colleague.

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids

Day 100

Entertainment magazines start rumours about a random Bollywood actor daring Danny Boyle to ever step foot into India again.

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids

Day 3,760

The slum kids have all grown up into men and they have kids

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids

Sometime in the distant future

Apes take over the civilized world

No one gives a shit about the Mumbai slum kids


Apparently the second viewing of the film opened up the CNN IBN editor’s third eye and pissed warm showers of effectual wisdom on art and the appreciation of such. Or maybe the geniuses at CNN-IBN have realized that cynicism is a bandwagon that they can jump on to appease the Page 3 intellectuals.

How you stupid motherfuckers not fall on your asses when you get out of bed in the morning, I’ll never ever figure out.


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Sometimes the world rules…

Slumdog Millionaire: It’s fantastic that Danny Boyle teamed up with Vikas Swarup. It’s not often that a great novel gets to be made into good movie (yeah that went well…grrr  read here). I almost get a headache thinking about how much better Q & A is when compared to any Booker Prize-winning Indian novel.

Shoe-In: Cheers for George Bush-based flash games. Finally, sliced bread has stiff competition. I just hope Lebanon and Turkey don’t go to war over the shoe’s origins.

The Wrestler: Mickey Rourke’s stamp of approval for underground wrestling. Fake you too, soothsayers.

Trinket, Montane Trinket: A new species of snake has apparently been discovered near Goa. Added to that, a new forest has been discovered in the northern Mozambique region of southern Africa. Yippee…the world is having an abortion.


Sometimes it chews on donkey balls…

Ghajini, It Seems: Apparently South India didn’t do enough damage to Memento. And kudos to that Bollywood guy who claims Ghajini is not a remake of Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece. He’s right, you know? It is not just a remake; it is a piss-poor, batshit crazy, self-defecating, puerile remake.

High School High: Congress has demanded that minority affairs minister Antulay should take his comment back regarding the death of Hemant Karkare. The minister apparently replied, “You take your comment back”, to which Congress said, “oh yeah…” thereby initiating a 2-hour staring contest.

Broadcast Media: With no specific natural disaster scheduled for next year and with Indian security being tightened up to avoid terrorist attacks, the media has now decided to make people paranoid about polio vaccination.

Popular Genes: A random study showed that teens become more popular if they carry the human gene linked to rule breaking, adding more steam to the theory that to rebel is to battle Attention Deficit Disorder.

Epiphany: Jeers to everyone in general for requiring a panel of experts to tell them “Indian and Pakistani journalists have been acting like nationalists instead of like journalists.” You could have dug up Helen Keller from her grave and asked her instead.

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